Monday, July 14, 2008

FUNNY for SUNDAY on MONDAY

Goooooooooood Day!!....it is dark-thirty...I am UPUPUP spending a little time in The Bee Hive Studio before my work day begins at LOWES.....
I cannot believe where the week goes...I know I am in the studio at least a couple of hours every day.....working on orders and playing CLEAN UP /Catch Up with all my STUFF......I know I keep on saying NEW THINGS will be in my ETSY shop, but, orders come FIRST!......sooooooooo...for todays post ( just to AT LEAST get some light reading material up)...I have attached this fun quip from my friend Joane...(Sorry....I do not know the origin of this funny to give just acknowledgments)......however, enjoy the read:

Through the eyes of a child:
The Children's Bible in a Nutshell

In the beginning, which occurred near the start, there was
nothing but God, darkness, and some gas. The Bible says,
'The Lord thy God is one, but I think He must be a lot older than that.
Anyway, God said, 'Give me a light!' and someone did.
Then God made the world.
He split the Adam and made Eve. Adam and Eve were naked,
but they weren't embarrassed because mirrors hadn't been
invented yet.
Adam and Eve disobeyed God by eating one bad
apple, so they were driven from the Garden of Eden.
Not sure what they were driven in though, because they didn't have cars.
Adam and Eve had a son, Cain, who hated his brother as long
as he was Abel.
Pretty soon all of the early people died
off, except for Methuselah, who lived to be like a million or something.
One of the next important people was Noah, who was a good guy,
but one of his kids was kind of a Ham. Noah built a
large boat and put his family and some animals on it. He asked
some other people to join him, but they said they would
have to take a rain check.
After Noah came Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Jacob was more
famous than his brother, Esau, because Esau sold Jacob his
birthmark in exchange for some pot roast. Jacob had a son
named Joseph who wore a really loud sports coat.
Another important Bible guy is Moses, whose real name was
Charlton Heston. Moses led the Israel Lights out of
Egypt
and away from the evil Pharaoh after God sent ten plagues on
Pharaoh's people. These plagues included frogs, mice, lice,
bowels, and no cable.
God fed the Israel Lights every day
with mannicotti. Then he gave them His Top Ten Commandments.
These include: don't lie, cheat, smoke, dance, or covet your
neighbor's stuff.
Oh, yeah, I just thought of one more:
Humor thy father and thy mother.
One of Moses' best helpers was Joshua who was the first
Bible guy to use spies. Joshua fought the battle of Geritol and
the fence fell over on the town.
After Joshua came David. He got to be king by killing a
giant with a slingshot. He had a son named Solomon who had
about 300 wives and 500 porcupines. My teacher says he was wise,
but that doesn't sound very wise to me.
After Solomon there were a bunch of major league prophets.
One of these was Jonah, who was swallowed by a big whale and then
barfed up on the shore. There were also some minor league
prophets, but I guess we don't have to worry about them.
After the Old Testament came the New Testament. Jesus is the
star of The New. He was born in
Bethlehem in a barn.
(I wish I had been born in a barn too, because my mom is always saying
to me, 'Close the door! Were you born in a barn?' It would
be nice to say, 'As a matter of fact, I was.')
During His life, Jesus had many arguments with sinners like
the Pharisees and the Republicans.
Jesus also had twelve opossums.
The worst one was Judas Asparagus. Judas was so evil that they
named a terrible vegetable after him.
Jesus was a great man. He healed many leopards and even
preached to some Germans on the Mount.
But the Republicans and all those guys put Jesus on trial before Pontius the Pilot. Pilot didn't stick up for Jesus. He just washed his hands instead.
Anyways, Jesus died for our sins, then came back to life again.
He went up to Heaven but will be back at the end of the
Aluminum. His return is foretold in the book of Revolution.

Hope you have a MARVELOUS, MOST OUTSTANDING MONDAY!

Creative blessings,

Debbie

4 comments:

joyfullness said...

This was great!! Remember when I used to sing the New Testament song... Matthew, Mark, luke  and John...Act and the pistles to the Romans...what are pistles???Any way..teehee...okay..so when are you moving??/Any day now!!!

Alexandra said...

thanks for sharing Debbie - sounds like you are super busy, miss ya!! Hey, are you going to Convention???

*STAMPIN HUGS* Alex

Queen of Dreamsz said...

Oh what a scream!! this is too cute and just wonderful all the way around. :o) Children...they know what they're talkin about, don't they!? :o)

mysteryhistorymom said...

Debbie- I would love to have you join my swap! It would be a pleasure! I absolutely adore Joy! She is such a sweetheart!!:)

Please e-mail me your mailing address when you get a minute- thanks! toosillysisters@cox.net Lori